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Q: So. You're a Nazi.

A: Dat is your label.

Q: Do you think it's appropriate for you to be the star of a comic strip?

A: Vhy not? I tink my sense of humor ist quite effervescent!

Q: Nazis aren't funny.

A: Ja...und in ze time it took you to say dat, Mel Brooks made another million! Your point?

Q: Did you just make a "Jews make money" joke?

A: Mel Brooks is a Jew?

Q: Nazis caused the deaths of millions and committed the most horrific crimes in history. Where's the humor in that?

A: If you're going to take such a "glass half empty" attitude about everything, you are hopeless.

Q: Are you racist?

A: Der you go again. Anyone disagrees vith you liberals, you holler "racist!"

Q: Aren't Nazis by definition racist and anti-Semitic?

A: Ha ha! Your information ist completely outdated! How quaint! Dat is so last century!

Q: What do you believe now?

A: I VANT TO SUBJUGATE EVERYVUN!! REGARDLESS OF RACE, COLOR OR CREED!!!

Q: Um...

A: I VILL BRING TRUE EQUALITY! ALL BENEATH ME VILL BE EQUAL!!

Q: So you don't believe in white supremacy?

A: I did until der Tea Party came along.

Q: You don't like the Tea Party?

A: Nincompoops. Dey vake up und realize ve hef a black president und get all schnitzeled up. Suddenly dey discover der vord "deficit" und act like ObamaCare is evil. I don't like ObamaCare, but only because I'm evil.

Q: Really?! You don't like the Tea Party because you think it's racist?

A: No, because dey are vay too obvious about it! Dat ist bad strategy!

Q: What do you think of Hitler?

A: Loser.

Q: How do you figure?

A: He lost, did he not? Last I heard, someone who "loses" is called a "loser."

Q: He made quite a splash, though.

A: So does poop.

Q: Then why--

A: He vas also un vegetarian. Un certain sign of veakness.

Q: Then why do you look so much like him?

A: I do not look like him at all! See dis photo of--HEIL, MEIN FUHRER!! Excuse me. Notice der cheesy emo-vannabe vay he greases his hair and parts it on der side? Hasn't he heard der vet head ist dead? Mein hair ist tastefully blown-dry und parted down der middle. Also he does not sport a monocle. A monocle shows class! (Whispers aside to Hitler photo) Don't look at me like dat. You know if der Fourth Reich ist to succeed I must keep up appearances.

Q: Did you just talk to the photograph?

A: (Waves hands in circular motion) Vhat do you mean? You must be halluuuucinating.

Q: What about the mustache? That's very Hitler.

A: Das ist very Charlie Chaplin. Like me, he is sveet, charming und innocent.

Q: Are you German?

A: Nein! I am un native der Derluth, Minnesota.

Q: What's with the accent, then?

A: Dis is un typical northern Minnesota accent. You tink der vay dey talk in der movie Fargo is accurate?

Q: What do you think of Obama?

A: Un disappointment.

Q: How so?

A: I rigged der election in his favor so I would get chained up und whipped by Frau Palin in order to fulfill my greatest fantasy. She stayed around for only a half hour then left.

Q: You admit to tampering with a presidential election?

A: Ja... but I can tell you sometink more surprising: DER IST NO EASTER BUNNY!!

Q: What do you think of skinheads?

A: Dey are not real Nazis. Dey are merely nihilists who call themselves Nazis because dey know it offends.

Q: What about yourself? Aren't you offensive?

A: I am der star of un comic strip. I AM LOVED!!

Q: But if people laugh, they're laughing at you, not with you.

A: DIS INTERVIEW IST OVER!!!